Slice of Paper

Just a few days ago, I was walking around Safeway with Pepper, shopping for random little foods like baby corn. You know, there is a lot of sodium in everything we eat. To top my own sodium consumption off, I eat salt right from the container. Not the shaker, but for example, the Morton Table Salt container. But the story is way more entertaining than my babbling, so let’s get a move on.

I pulled a small can from the shelf and told her, “Hey, this baby corn has like, 10mg of sodium per serving.” She shook her head in disapproval because she didn’t  have enough money to cover it. Her dad only gave her $10 for grocery shopping. I got up and dusted myself. Wandering off onto the next shelf of goodies, I decided to keep looking at the corn when all of a sudden I heard this shocking sound! “Oh yes! Oh god yes! Oh my gosh I finally! Oh my gosh I can’t believe it! Yes,” shouted the woman. Amused, I shushed Pepper in the middle of her rant about corn and listened in even more the insanity. “Ahahahahaahah! YES! YES!”, shouted the lady! Did someone propose to her? I don’t think getting proposed to in Safeway is very romantic. But I guess it could work somehow.

“Honey, what do you think of macaroni and cheese for tonight?” asked the man. His eyes viciously stared into the mac’ n’ cheese’ picture on the box. The dinosaur’s grin, piercing his very mind and soul. Controlling him, driving his determination and heart.  The lady frown and told him, “There’s too much sodium in it, and I thought you liked my mac’ n’ cheese better.” Ba-dump, ba-dump, ba-dump, went his heart. Instantly, he was filled with love and wild passion for her! “Yeah…but there’s something I love even more,” spoken by the man. Slowly, step by step, the love drew him closer and closer to her. “If it’s chips, you can forget it,” warned the women, but she wasn’t warned for what was about to take place. “Nikki, will you take my hand in marriage as your lawfully wedded husband?” proposed the man. Tofu, salad greens, and organic watermelons fell to the floor. “Yes! YES! Oh god yes! My god yes! Yes! YES! YES YES YES!” screamed Nikki in total glee! The speakers blared Frank Sinatra’s My One and Only Love over the loudspeaker and the lights darkened all around. Shoppers aww’d over the couple’s new engagement, and sealed it with a kiss. “Oh John, I love you!” screamed Nikki! John just squeezed her and held her tight with all his might and she was merrily whisked away to the car. Another happy couple, off to marriage land. Happy Wedding Planning!

Still not romantic enough for me.